Warning: Reading this book during pregnancy will make you pee yourself. Even more.

We have eagerly been awaiting the Let’s Panic About Babies book every since we first became pregnant with our own babies. And that’s saying something. Because back then, we didn’t even know anything about authors Alice Bradley and Eden M. Kennedy, how funny they are, or that they were even considering writing a book together. That’s just how awesome this book is: It transcends the impossible!

If you’ve ever seen the Let’s Panic About Babies Website, you might have an inkling of what to expect–new babies referred to as “recently freed fetal captives,” and the suggestion that your first month of pregnancy means it’s time to stop trolling the docks for anonymous sex at night.

In other words, Let’s Panic About Babies (full name: Let’s Panic About Babies: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant Who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You Into a Worthwhile Human Being) is clearly not for those who read satire then say, “Are they being serious? That’s offensive! I would never troll the docks for anonymous sex at night!”

The book is sarcastic, a little bawdy, and more insightful than you might expect. (The authors name the fifth month of pregnancy “the smug month.”) With clever sidebars, laugh out loud quizzes, and lists like socially acceptable places to barf, it really is a whole lot of fun. However don’t expect to read it for advice; unless you appreciate advice like the real reason to avoid eating bologna during pregnancy is that the baby will grow up to live in a van.

In a sea of mildly humorous parenting advice books, and painfully earnest parenting advice books, Let’s Panic is a welcome baby shower gift idea for that friend who you know will never get past page 8 of What to Expect.

The one negative: Reading it might make you pee a little. Fortunately you pregnant ladies have an excuse. -Liz

Preorder Let’s Panic About Babies by Alice Bradley and Eden M. Kennedy now from our affiliate Amazon, and have yours around March 1. And don’t miss the Let’s Panic About Babies book trailer which is downright hilarious. Name that announcer…

Cool Mom Staff

We spend our time looking for cool stuff so you don't have to. Hope this one fits the bill.

70 Comments

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    CoraD

    During my first pregnancy, I worked a lot with teens and college students. During my eighth (ninth? the last month) I was driving one of the college students home and we were talking about the pregnancy. She said to me, “Cora, I think I’m more excited about this baby than you are!”

    It took a lot restraint to not boot her from the car or curse her out. Of course, who has the energy for such antics during the last month of pregnancy?

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Amy

    The worst thing anyone said to me when I was pregnant? That I was going to deliver any second (from the time I was about 7 months-on). I suppose that’s what happens when you’re 4’11” and your hubby is 6’0″. But, when you’re tired, hungry, grouchy, and 9 months pregnant and you go to eat some lunch with your husband, do you really need the hostess pondering (out LOUD) whether you’ll actually FIT into a booth!?!? I think not. Now that we’re expecting our second, I’m dreading the return of these comments, soon…

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Megan C

    The absolute worst thing said to me during pregnancy happened at the midwives’ office during my 34 week check-up. The midwife on call was externally feeling for the baby’s position and suddenly turned white as a ghost and said she needed to rush for an emergency ultrasound. She pulled a wheelchair (yes a WHEELCHAIR) from the hallway, had me sit down with my two year old in my lap, and RAN me to the u/s machine just down the hall. I was fuh-reaking out. Once she began the exam, I shakily asked, “What is happening?” She replied, quite seriously, “I couldn’t find the baby’s head.” I couldn’t help but giggle uncontrollably (of course the baby’s head was engaged… the odds of it rolling away unbeknownst to me were pretty slim).

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Elizabeth Fox

    Someone told me that if I drank milk products it would make my baby turn out hairy…. What?!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Newbie Mum Melissa

    I don’t have time to read so don’t include me, but I wanted to share my response.

    I started going to a new primary car a month ago. I had my 5 month old baby with me (yes, she was there) in a stroller. As the doctor and I went through my medical history, she (yes, female doctor) looked at me and said, “so how many months are you?” I said, “my baby is 5 months old and I am still learning how to take care of her. I have not had time to start taking care of myself!” But really?! A female, physician, while I had her with me?

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Jennifer

    Oh my gosh, this is awesome! I’m itching to read it :) When we first ecstatically announced our pregnancy, I had a friend who said immediately (with a shocked look on her face), “Oh! It was planned???” I guess it’s somewhat of a valid question to some people, but the fact that it was the FIRST thing she said to me, instead of being happy for us and saying congratulations, was the real kicker. Also, my partner has been so worried about my water breaking in bed that he put puppy training pads under my bedsheets. I have to laugh about it now!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    anne

    I didn’t know you were pregnant.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    AliceH

    When I announced my second pregnancy to a group of friends one blurted out “Was it an accident?” Nice. And no, it wasn’t. Thanks for the chance!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Jackie

    “Don’t you know by now how that happens?” The guy who said this thought it was my (and my husband’s) 3rd child when it was really our 2nd. As if that makes a difference!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    -K

    As I’m currently pregnant with twins I get a lot of the “You’re never going to sleep again” comments.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    AM

    My two children are 18 months apart. When someone realized I was pregnant again (my first child was just 10 months old), I did get one comment about ‘Don’t you know how this keeps happening?!’ Um, yes. Do you *really* want to talk about that?!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Devynn Fagre

    Even the non pregnant ladies could have a good laugh with it…Sounds like something I may just buy my sister!!! She is due in April!!!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Heather Bonner

    I had/have twins. Random strangers would ask me if they were conceived naturally. People also pretty much told me constantly how huge I was. After they were born, I was asked a lot which one was my favorite or which one was the mean one.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Elizabeth K

    Oh goodness! I don’t know if I can laugh about it yet, because it was just last week… but I know I will after baby is born. Someone asked me in the grocery checkout line if I was having triplets. NOOOOO! First, never assume someone is pregnant unless you see the baby is coming out. Second, a pregnant lady never wants to be reminded of how fat she is. Third, really?!?!? You coundn’t have just guessed twins? I told them very politely that it’s just one baby and I’m due in a freakin’ week, so gimme a break! ;)

  • Cool Mom Picks
    Reply February 13, 2011

    Cool Mom Picks

    If I am Anne, it’s news to me! – Liz

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Jamie

    It was mid-December. I was nine months pregnant with my first baby and in a checkout line at Costco when a voice behind me asked, “Are you going to have your baby on my birthday?”

    I turned and smiled pleasantly, or as pleasantly as an exhausted pregnant woman can smile, at the elderly lady behind me. “I don’t know,” I said. “When’s your birthday?”

    She told me, and then proceeded to tell me in great detail how bitter she was over having been born in December. “What a horrible time for a birthday!” she concluded. “You shouldn’t have had your baby in December.”

    “Well, there’s not a lot I can do about that now, is there?” I replied. But I was livid. To interrupt a total stranger in the midst of a grocery transaction and tell her how inconsiderate she is for giving birth to a child just before Christmas? That was the worst.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Jaymi

    Oh my gosh! I’m 9 months pregnant now and just the other day, my OBGYN doc (not my usual one) asked if my ankles were swelling yet at she looked at them. I said yes. And she immediately said right after, “No they’re not!”. I was like, “Um, this is NOT my normal ankle size…how would you know?” She was quite a bitch.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    RachelJ

    At the grocery store: I’ll ring you up quickly because you look like you’re going to have that baby any minute and I don’t want it to be here.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    HACB

    My boss during my first pregnancy said, “You’re never going to be able to work the hours you do now.” Then I was laid off a few months later. I was livid at the time. The only reason it’s funny now is because I have a much better job that basically fell into my lap just a few days after I was laid off. :)

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Dana G

    someone told me I’d never lose the weight so I shouldn’t kill myself trying. depressing!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Carrie Schmidt

    My OB looked at my 6’6″ husband and asked what size shoe he wears. When my husband answered “size 14″ my OB laughed and told me “good luck with that”.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    CourtneyR

    It wasn’t the worst thing, but the funniest. I was working at a preschool and the day I told the kids I was pregnant one of the little boys looked at me and said, “A baby? Are you sure it’s yours?” I couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the day

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Liza

    Hilarious! Awesome! I can’t to read this book.

    Worst thing anyone ever said to me was when one of my co-workers, when I was pregnant with Noah, leaned over during a Big Long Boring Formal meeting and whispered, “Sometime when I am drunk enough to handled the answer, you’ll have to tell me how a lesbian gets pregnant.”

    About 15 minutes later, my shock and horror subsided enough that I was able to think of a witty answer. I leaned back to him and said, “You really don’t need to be drunk. It starts with the most surreal online shopping experience you can imagine, and the rest is boringly medical.”

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Jen

    I was asked when my due date was when my daughter was 7months old! Boo if u don’t know if someone is pregnant don’t ask

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Daisy

    A young co-worker came to visit me in the hospital after I had my daughter. She looked at me and said, “you still look pregnant!” At the time, I was devistated, but now I’m looking forward to *her* first baby, and visiting *her* in the hospital!!

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Shannon Longcore

    With my first pregnancy, I was convinced I could deliver au natural, and had a 3 page birth plan to go along with my ambition. My dear friend was in her residency at the time, had just delivered her first baby, and had attended many, many deliveries. She told me I just needed to drop the birth plan and get an epidural. At the time, I thought she was being unsupportive, and I actually told her to just support my decision. UNTIL I went into labor and was practically begging for an epidural, and tore up my birth plan. I had no idea what I was in for. I apologized to my friend later. And have since had 3 fabulous deliveries, all with epidurals. A brilliant invention, in my humble opinion.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Ashley

    My daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and I got a lot of advice with people who know nothing about heart defects. I also got the question, “How do you DO it?” a lot. What do you mean how do I do it? Live? Take care of my baby? You just do it, it’s not like you can stop.

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Amanda K

    I was 7 mths pregnant when my brother, who I call Mr. Tactless, asked me if I had had an ultrasound done yet and if the baby had any abnormalities. Considering we knew we were having a girl and he had seen the pictures, I was confused. Plus, abnormalities??? Who askes that? I wasn’t at all surprised when, while I was carrying my 2 day old daughter into my house for the first time, he said he hoped I could get back to my “fighting weight” in time for his wedding. My dad said the same thing to me not 10 minutes later. Sigh…

  • Reply February 13, 2011

    Melanie

    The worst, or I guess I should say the most perplexing thing, that’s been said to me so far would have to be, “Is that recent?” while the woman pointed at my 6 months-along bump. I was so taken aback I couldn’t even come up with a witty comeback so I just stared at her slack-mouthed until she walked away.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Jena

    The worst thing I was told while I was pregnant was that I was clearly too far along for an abortion. (I don’t remember the context–it was in the course of a conversation, but afterward, I was appalled that she, a total stranger, would have taken the conversation there. Why would she bring up abortion at all to a 7.5-months pregnant woman?)

    And similar to Jamie’s: I am so tired of people telling me what a gift it was for us to have our daughter on Christmas, but what an awful time for a birthday! (I usually try to graciously smile and say something like, “Well, my birthday is December 23, so I’ll know how to do it up right.” And I love my birthday–it feels like the whole month of December is a party for me. (And yes, I know all about having half birthday parties, too.)

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Lisa

    When my husband and I got home from the hospital with our son last June, one of the substitute doormen in our building asked me if I was having another baby. Um, no, I just had one, thanks… my uterus is still contracting, hence the belly…

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Melinda

    I was always annoyed with the “you will never sleep” comments. I slept better after my son was born than I did most of my pregnancy. Yeah I still got up every couple hours but I got to snuggle a sweet little baby instead of clinging to the toilet barfing.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Elonda

    While pregnant with my 3rd child in 3 1/2 years an elderly lady from my hometown told me that my husband needed to get a hobby. Or it could have been in the recovery room after having my 3rd c-section and the nurse saying that my husband should have married her daughter.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    The Bearded Iris

    True story: two different butchers at two different grocery stores asked me when my TWINS were due. I was only 6 months pregnant… with a single baby. Nice.

    But “the worst thing about being pregnant” I ever heard/read, came from my own twisted mind when I recently wrote this post about my favorite most horrifying pregnancy terms:

    http://beardediris.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/seriously-its-not-as-bad-as-it-sounds/

    One of my closest friends is pregnant for the first time and I thought it would be nice for her to hear a funny spin on words like “mucus plug,” “bloody show,” and “ring of fire.” She loved it. She’s due in April and has a fabulous sense of humor, so this gift basket would rock her world!

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Grace

    When I was 6 months pregnant with my 2nd child, my husband and I went to visit his grandmother. As soon as she opened the door to greet us she said, “Well hey there fatty! Are you sure you’re not having twins?!”

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Trish

    When someone told me that I may poop during delivery. When one is pregnant and very self conscious? That’s not the time to bring poop into the picture. I laugh now because hi! It’s poop and lord knows that as a mom of 3 I’ve dealt with my fair share of poop.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Lisa

    The fairly standard (and annoying) “are you sure there’s only one in there?” PLEASE.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Kate

    A bunch of different colleagues asked whether my son was born vaginally.

    Really? You think I want to talk to you about my vagina? Even after the complete loss of modesty that is birth, I did not, do not, will never want to talk about my vagina with co-workers.

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    JenO

    I taught middle school before my kids were born, and I was about 7 months pregnant when it was time to teach sex ed. I’m sure you can imagine the comments I got, but my fave was when one of the kids (trying to embarrass me) said something along the lines of them all knowing I had ‘done it’ since I was pregnant. I calmly answered that I’d been married for over 10 years, and yes, my hubby and I had ‘done it’ quite a few times in that time. (I actually loved teaching sex ed, because I was so much more comfortable with it than the awkward little middle schoolers… ;)

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Cameron

    This book sounds great! I haven’t gotten far enough along in a pregnancy to have people say rude things, but a hostess in Italy did make a comment one time that I was pregnant when I wasn’t. We were checking out & paying and she started awkwardly laughing for so long and making such a spectacle (HELLO, move on after you make a blunder like that!) that I started telling her she’d better be giving us a discount, or should we just leave without paying? I wasn’t even fat, just wearing a bulky sweater!

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Sarah M.

    I was 8 months pregnant with my first and had to get my drivers license renewed. When the clerk handed me the license, she looked at the new photo on the license, looked at me and then said “Don’t worry honey. Your nose should go back to its normal size after the baby is born. Well, almost normal size.” I hadn’t even realized that my nose had swelled so much!

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Melanie

    “Which one of your kids was the best baby?” (