When a newly-pregnant woman asks me for advice (okay, it’s not like it happens all the time, but it does happen), I have but one gem to share: Don’t tell anyone what you’re thinking of naming the baby.

It doesn’t matter if you’re thinking of Joe or Jehosephat, people will feel compelled to tell you that it’s too plain, too weird, too hard to spell, and by the way — they knew someone with that name once who used to pick his nose.

But that’s not to say that baby-naming can’t be a little bit fun. In fact, there’s a little book of Bad Baby Names: The Worst True Names Parents Saddled Their Kids With, And You Can Too! out there that would be a great addition to any baby shower gift. In amongst the snapshots of cute kids you’ll find the most outrageous names found in actual census data. And no matter what you’re thinking of naming the baby, you can rest assured that it can’t possibly be as awful as Pentagon Beaver or Bad Mans.

You can pick up the book at Amazon and leave it on your coffee table to head off nosy relatives, or give it to that special expecting couple just to say that yes, they’re weird. But not that weird. -Mir


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