Sweet little bundle of joy? Yeah, right. Anyone who’s already a parent knows exactly what’s swaddled in that cozy blanket.

Tiny Dictator new baby card at Cool Mom Picks

I salute our pals at Hello Lucky for telling the truth about that adorable new baby with this stylish card: she’s a tiny little dictator, and you’ll serve her for the next eighteen years at least. 

The gorgeous design is letterpress-printed on thick 100% recycled paper and is blank on the inside, which means you have plenty of space to write out your tips for surviving the first few weeks of the tiny dictator’s regime. This card would be lovely packaged with a tongue-in-cheek humor book, or maybe a baby-and-parents care package with swaddlers, teething tablets, and vodka. –Delilah

Find the Tiny Dictator card at Hello Lucky. It’s also available in pink.