There’s an uncomfortable stage in between childhood and adulthood when you might need a good luck charm or security blanket, but you know the other kids are going to make fun of it. We’re betting that if your good juju comes in the form of a zipper-chested twin zombie sock monkey, they’re going to back right off.

These little Yarn Zombies are an adorable but edgy way to give someone a boost of confidence, love, or quirky goodwill right when they need it most while maintaining their valuable street cred. Each knitted, 5-inch tall talisman is geared toward a specific ward, including stress, jerks, bad breakups, blown calls in football, test anxiety, and bully encounters. No toddler tantrums, unfortunately.

Can I please have the entire crew and a time machine? Because 1994 Delilah really could’ve used a Yarn Zombie.

Roxy Yarn Zombie | Cool Mom Picks

Fangz Yarn Zombie bat | Cool Mom Picks

Skip Yarn Zombie football player | Cool Mom Picks

Count Yarn Zombie vampire | Cool Mom Picks

If you’ve got a kid in transition who needs a smile and a pick-me-up to help the medicine go down, these guys might just fit the bill. I could probably use my own Sokz the Monkey, as he’s sworn to protect one from going postal and telltale ear steam. Can you relate, mamas?

Find the Yarn Zombies at their site. Shipping on orders over $45 is currently free with code FREESHIP.