I like funny Valentines cards. You probably like funny Valentines cards. The real question is, do you have the sense of humor required to actually receive one of these? Or do you have the cool-enough friend or partner who’d rather receive a Kanye West card from you than something in flowery script about soulmates and picking daffodils together in old age? If so, we’ve got a few that you might want to order stat. You can always be sentimental with the gift.
Trust me, as much as women may have a sense of humor, no one wants a whoopie cushion for Valentine’s Day.
(Please note the ship for Valentine’s Day deadlines at these shops; some have passed)
Kanye West Valentines Card ($7.12, Diamond Donatello)
Hey, true love is true love. There’s no denying it.
“I’m so glad I swiped right” Tinder card ($4.70, Naughty Little Cards)
A true Valentines card for the modern age. The question is, are you still swiping right? You’ll know it’s serious when you delete your account completely.
You hate pants ($5, Sad Shop)
A great reminder that your romantic goal in life should be someone with whom you can walk around without pants together. Ideally in private, but no judgments here.
Game of Thrones Funny Valentines Card ($3.50, Sweet Geek)
There are a whole lot of Game of Thrones references in funny Valentines cards I spotted this year, and as a devout watcher, this one takes the cake for me. Or, the delicious raw stallion heart. Mmmm.
Roses are Red… ($4.10, Classy Cards Creative)
There are a zillion versions of Roses are Red cards out there, but this one just cracks me up every time I look at it.
Neil Diamond Funny Valentine Card ($4, Debbie Draws Funny)
This one is for Kristen, who still thinks Sweet Caroline is one of the best karaoke songs ever, while I…well, I would give her this card.
Righteous Dude Ferris Bueller Valentines Card ($4.25, Seas and Peas)For the child of the 80’s or just a devout John Hughes fan. I can’t resist a good Ferris Bueller reference, no matter the occasion.
Funny Singles Valentines Card ($4.50, Emily McDowell Draws)
For all the single ladies (all the single ladies)…
Imma Be Your Valentine ($7.12, Diamond Donatello)
This one makes me laugh out loud every time. Kim is one lucky gal.
You’ll Do Valentines Card ($3.13, Darwin Designs Cards)
This one only works with your head-over-heels, gushy, romantic love of your life. You know, understated irony. You don’t want there to be any misunderstandings.
I hold your hand while you’re asleep Valentines Card ($3.91, Prints of Heart)
Maybe it just means he’s playing Candy Crush. Or doing the dishes.
Netflix Funny Valentine’s Card ($4.99, The Hipster Housewife)
The perfect card to hand over after your sixth straight hour of watching season one of House of Cards for the third time.
You are the right amount grumpy Valentines Card ($5, Sad Shop)
Oh, I know about 8 zillion people who could buy one of these for their partners. I am not naming names and you can’t make me–but you know who you are.
Happy Valentine’s Day from my boobs ($4.50, Wit and Whistle)
What? Guys like boobs. Ask them.
Awkward Dating Valentines Card ($4.50, Emily McDowell Draws)
You know we’ve hit a new milestone when there are officially FWB Valentines cards out there now too.
Lonely Starbucks Lover Card ($3, Letter Happy)
This has to be the ultimate 2015 Valentines Day card. Because Taylor Swift TOTALLY says lonely Starbucks lover. There’s no way she doesn’t. That is all.