What’s it really like to be a solo parent (and what other parents can learn from them)

2 responses to “What’s it really like to be a solo parent (and what other parents can learn from them)”

1. Andrea

   Feb 23, 2016 at 12:03 pm

   Thank you for the episode about being a “part time single mom”! My name is Andrea and I live in South Orange, NJ and I am a “part time single mom” of 2 great kids! I also work part time as a heart transplant social worker at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center. My husband is a Rabbi at a congregation in South Orange, and works 60 + hours per week, often working extra nights and weekends. Since he does work so close to home, he really tries his best to be home around dinner time, even if he has to go back to work after the kids go to sleep. He is also a very active parent when he is home! I feel very lucky because we intentionally moved to a community where we have friends, support and family close by. What I find the most challenging is the times when we are physically together as a family, however because my husband is working, we are not actually spending that time together. For example, we observe the Jewish Sabbath and attend services every Saturday morning. As the Rabbi of the congregation, my husband is leading services and then socializing with the community afterward. Even though my husband is physically there with me and my children, I am essentially on my own as a parent. This happens during all synagogue events and holidays, not just the weekly Sabbath, so we never really get to spend that time together. He also works Sunday mornings during religious school, so I often attend birthday parties, neighborhood get togethers, or various activities without him. When I think about it, it’s not that I can’t manage the solo parenting time, it is that I miss being a family during that time when all the other families are together. As a clergy member, he often facilitates religious life cycle events (the birth of a baby, a wedding, a conversion, a funeral) – the most important and meaingful events in families lives. I feel extraordinarily guilty admitting that sometimes I feel as though our family sacrifices time together, so that he can be with someone else’s family celebrating, mourning, experiencing. I admire my husband, and other clergy members TREMENDOUSLY. In fact, his faith, leadership and commitment to helping others, are some of the very qualities I first fell in love with. It is just hard to be left behind sometimes. I was so grateful listening to your episode this morning on my way to work! Thank you for sharing – and thank you to Courtney as well! She was a great guest podcaster! LOVE you both, Kristen and Liz! THANKS! – Andrea

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   1. Liz

      Feb 23, 2016 at 12:38 pm

      Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. That’s a really important perspective — solo parenting even when your partner is right there, by necessity. I always think of show business spouses as being in a similar position.

      I’m sure your story will help other parents in the same situation you are. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. And good luck to you all!

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