What we thought was a helpful post about the new uber-for-kids services popping up around the country turned into the Mommy Wars on Facebook. And so, on this week’s episode of Spawned with Kristen and Liz, we discuss the not-so-nice comment in question, along with other things not to say to working moms based on an article Liz wrote for Redbook Magazine a few years ago. Plus, we share our tips for what to say (or do) to help working parents, and of course, our Cool Picks of the Week.
Mug above via Avonnie Studio on Etsy
You can listen here right now (do it!), and then make sure you subscribe to our podcast on iTunes (and hey, leave us a review!), so you never miss an episode.
Links from this episode
The Facebook post where all hell broke loose. We removed the one not-so-nice comment, so you’ll need to listen to the show to hear about it.
Liz’s article in Redbook Magazine with actual real comments people have said to working moms. Make sure you’re sitting down.
A recent piece by our friend Audrey McClelland of Mom Generations about what’s been said to her as a full-time working mom.
A great article correcting the myth that working moms spend less quality time with their children.
This week’s sponsor
We’re so thrilled to welcome BitsBox as this week’s sponsor! It’s an engaging monthly subscription for kids that helps teaches them to code in a super fun way. Kids get cool projects in the mail each month, then take what they’re learning to create their own apps. Such a fantastic holiday gift for kids age 6-12 that parents will love too.
Special offer for Spawned listeners:
Save 15% on any Bitsbox subscription with code COOLMOM.
Our cool picks of the week
Liz: Remarkably Average Parenting, a fun, new book from Ilana Wiles that will give you a much-needed laugh at any stage of parenting.
Kristen: Newly, a new home goods company from the founder of another favorite company of ours, featuring items all made from 100% recycled or repurposed materials.
SO many comments about the Uber service after listening to the podcast- 1. Non working mothers (like me!) also would love this service- I have 4 kids and constantly need help! Great podcast. Thanks for keeping it real.
Thanks for the feedback Sarah — and for listening. You and Kristen could totally trade tips on the 4 kids thing!
I just caught up listening to this episode and I wish I had listened when it came out. Because I have a lot to say :)))
I’m a stay at home mom and I should say I recently decided (very consciously) not be considerate. I think that both working and staying home have advantages and disadvantages. But I should say it seems working moms want to get that one thing that we have, away from us and we’re not allowed to say it. Hours of the day are fixed and when a working mom is working and getting satisfaction and money from her work I’m at home rocking my baby to sleep or feeding him or helping him with homework and that is my satisfaction. When you cite research that we interact the same amount of time with our kids and the working mom gets to do all this extra work , what I get from it is that I’m wasting all that other time for nothing, which is very hurtful to me.
By the way I love your podcast. I’m just overly sensitive about this one subject 🙂
—
Oh, man. We’re sorry that feels sensitive Roya. This topic tends to be for everyone; and whether you stay at home full time or not, we’ve tried to make it clear many times that those early years are when we’re all at our most vulnerable. Know that “it gets better” in that sense.
Admittedly, the conclusions of research like this can be difficult to hear for a lot of reasons. Working moms realize they have been unfairly characterized as “not involved enough” while stay-at-home parents realize they may not be splitting the balance of housework and at-home responsibilities well enough. The conclusion is not however meant to demean the important ways you spend your days. And nights.
If I can be so bold, it sounds like you want a little more time away for yourself — and that is totally normal and reasonable! It’s amazing to that you can know that about yourself. Don’t be afraid to say it, or to ask for the help you need. We all need that village we discussed.
Just know that you are never ever wasting time for nothing. Or hhey, if you think you are at times, maybe step back, reassess all the household responsibilities on your to-do list, and determine which ones you can skip or delegate.
Doing something you love is fantastic. Don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s not important.
Thanks for listening and for your thoughtful comment. -Liz