If toddlers could write poetry, it would go something like this

Poems about children and parenting can be kind of, um, hit or miss. Whether it’s too saccharin or just too earnest, I’m not sure–all I know is that it often leaves me vaguely uncomfortable. (And I was a creative writing major!)

Not the case with To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born? Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers. Although you might have guessed that from the title.

Written by Suzanne Weber–also known as Anita Liberty, the author of books such as How to Stay Bitter Through the Happiest Times of Your Life–it’s a book of poetry from your baby or toddler’s point of view–if your baby or toddler happens to have an acerbic wit, a huge vocabulary, and also thinks you’re a complete and total tool.

I have absolutely no idea how she does it, but Weber somehow manages to simultaneously make you laugh and get you a little verklempt with her hilarious poetry. Maybe it’s because she absolutely nails what our babies would tell us if they could. Like in the poem, “Nipple Confusion”: You didn’t give birth to an idiot. I’m not confused. I just know what I like.

It’s all a little bit twisted and a whole lot of fun–apparently, just the way I like my poetry. –Lexi

Get a peek into your wee one’s psyche with Suzanne Weber‘s To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?